Hazrat Maulana Yunus Patel Saheb (Rahmatullahi 'alayh)
Allah Ta’ala
holds back His Rahmah (mercy)
from those who break family ties.
If the tie is
broken solely for the pleasure of Allah Ta’ala; for some legitimate Islamic reason, then to do so would not be a sin.
However, we
who are the slaves of our egos and nafs should be careful that shaytaan does
not instigate us to sever family ties in the name of Deen[1], whereas
it is, in reality, for the sake of our nafs[2].
As a result
of breaking ties, the entire family – in truth, the entire community suffers.
Allah Ta’ala holds back His blessings.
Hazrat Abdullah Ibn Abi Aufa (Radhiyallahu ‘anhu) had
related that in the evening of the Day of Arafah, the Sahaba (Radhiyallahu ‘anhum)
were sitting with Nabi (Sallallaahu ‘alaihi
wasallam) when he announced: ‘Anyone who has broken his relationship
with any of his kin, should leave the company and not sit with us.’
ONLY ONE man got up and left… clearly illustrating that the Sahaba-e-Kiraam
(Radhiyallahu ‘anhum) upheld and preserved family ties.
The man
returned after some time and informed Nabi (Sallallaahu ‘alaihi wasallam) that on hearing the order, he
immediately went to his aunt with whom he had severed ties. He explained to her
the instruction of Rasulullah (Sallallaahu
‘alaihi wasallam). On hearing it, she made a Dua of forgiveness for him,
and he for her, and they reconciled. Rasulullah (Sallallaahu ‘alaihi wasallam) was extremely pleased, allowed him
to rejoin their company, and explained to his companions that Allah Ta’ala
does not grant His blessings on a community among whom there is someone who has
broken off family ties.
If we have to
consider our times, then in almost all cases it is because the ego has been
hurt by the snubbing or bad attitude of relatives that causes the break up. As
Muslims, we should be good to our relatives, even if they are unkind to us. The
Hadeeth states :
‘He who
reciprocates good treatment does not really strengthen family bonds; but the
one, who through kind behaviour, strengthens his ties of kinship with those who
sever relations with him, does so.’[3]
Whilst visiting another country on a lecture tour, a
brother met me and said to me that he has elderly parents, whom he is taking
care of. However, from their side, there is no appreciation. He keeps serving
them and giving to them, but there is no expression of gratitude.
His brother visits the parents ‘once in a blue moon’ and
brings a gift; and for this, the parents sing this son’s praises. And yet, this
is the son who seldom gives them his time and hardly ever serves them. So the
brother said that this was eating him up, that he is doing so much, but the
attention and appreciation is going to the brother.
I replied to him: “Remember
just one simple thing, and all this disappointment and these frustrations will
disappear:
“DO FOR ALLAH’S PLEASURE
HE WILL GIVE FROM HIS
TREASURE.”
Simple …and see how, despite their ingratitude and
inattention, you will find tremendous happiness in the sacrifices you make for
your parents. And Allah Ta’ala will show you His happiness in various bounties,
on your sincerity and service to your parents.”
Alhamdulillah, the brother was extremely thankful for this
piece of advice and was already happy with the great honour and privilege of
serving his parents.
[1] Deen : religion
[2] Nafs : ego
[3] Bukhari and Tirmidhi
