Bismihi Ta'ala
By Hazrat
Maulana Yunus Patel Saheb (Rahmatullahi 'Alayh)
A husband complained that he was always angry with his wife, and they
continuously argued.
…There are so many such cases: If it is not the husband complaining of
his wife, it is the wife complaining of her husband.
In this case, having been informed of the weaknesses of his wife, which
are common to other women as well, I said: ‘I
agree with you that there are weaknesses in women. However, there are also
weaknesses in men. …Moreover, your anger is for worldly reasons. You are
cursing your wife and inviting that same curse upon yourself...’
I then explained to him: ‘When you
curse your wife on her defiance, non-compliance or her indifference to your
rights, then Allah Ta’ala’s azaab[1]
descends upon her. When that punishment reaches her, she will not be the only
who will suffer. As her husband, you too suffer. If she is afflicted with
illness or meets up with some accident, the burden of expense falls upon you,
as the husband. You will have to take care of her, and will also find
difficulty in that she will not be able to see to you and the children, and the
maintenance of the home, etc. And if she has to curse you, she too will find
herself in a situation of trial and difficulty...’
There are those women who have the bad habit of cursing their husbands and
children – and generally this is due to impatience or frustration. Instead of
turning to Allah Ta’ala and making Du’aa, they utter such words, which
sometimes finds acceptance in the heavens, but becomes a source of great
regret.
It is due to this tendency of cursing and being ungrateful to spouses
that Rasulullah (Sallallaahu ‘alayhi wasallam) directed women towards giving charity and seeking forgiveness.
Thus, when Allah Ta’ala punishes the husband or the child, then the wife
or mother is left lamenting her plight.
It may be that Allah Ta’ala accepts her curse, and in a fit of anger the
husband divorces the wife. He loses his wife and children and she is left in
dire circumstances as a divorcee; or it may be that Allah Ta’ala accepts the
curse, and as such his entire business collapses. Then poverty becomes the lot
of not just the husband, but also the wife who cursed, and the children. …There
are so many ways that curses are Divinely accepted.
Alhamdulillah, the husband explained the above to his wife and they both agreed that
arguing and cursing was not the solution.
Arguments are the cause of great satisfaction and joy to shaytaan, whose
great effort is to destroy marriages. Arguments, in fact, indicate to
shaytaan’s presence in our homes. It is the stepping stone to enmity between
husband and wife, and can easily end up with divorce, a broken home and many
other problems.
Who does not want a happy marriage? Who does not want Sukoon
(tranquility) in marriage? ...However, to achieve this, some effort has to be
made. We just have to train ourselves to adopt Hilm (tolerance) and Sabr
(patience) at times, and learn to curb the tendency to argue and fight – which
is otherwise common even for the most petty reasons.
If we can all keep before us the following Hadeeth and have Yaqeen and
conviction on the words of Rasulullah (Sallallaahu ‘alayhi wasallam), many
arguments would not even surface and there would be peace and tranquility: “I guarantee a house in the outskirts of
Paradise to the one who forsakes
argument even when he is in the right.’
[1] Azaab : punishment
