Bismillahir Rahmaanir Raheem
I am a Muslim male who was very normal in my nature until recently. Having watched a movie which explicitly encouraged homosexuality, I now find myself strongly attracted to other males, to the extent that it is extremely difficult to restrain the desire to engage in Haraam. Evil thoughts constantly plague my mind. I am overcome with remorse and very ashamed of these feelings and also afraid of giving into my desires, knowing that this is a very major sin. Please help.
Respected Brother in Islam,
Wa-alaykumus Salaam wa-Rahmatullahi wa-Barakaatuhu
1.) Being ashamed of one’s sins and wanting to keep them concealed is a sign of Imaan. Of course, this does not mean that a Muslim continues secretly indulging in disobedience to Allah Ta’ala and makes no effort of giving up sins.
2.) Thoughts should be ignored, but if these feelings are being entertained, effort has to be made in diverting the attention. Keep the mind distracted and occupied with some work or activity – either some form of Ibaadah or something permissible.
3.) Often, the cause of boys/men suddenly feeling inclined and attracted to other males is due to watching some film with such content (i.e. of homosexuality). The purpose of such films is promotion and encouragement of sin, and the effects of such viewing are such that even an otherwise normal male will begin having evil thoughts and desires in respect to other men.
Others too have written of such experiences, so you are not alone in your anguish. Recently a teacher wrote to me, stating that he was a normal Muslim male – who had a complete aversion to homosexuality. However, after viewing just one film on homosexuality, found himself overcome with lust when it came to his male students. He too was overcome with fear that he must not fall into the sin. He found himself very weak to the demands of his evil desires, but was also making every effort to curb them. And yet prior to viewing this film, he was sickened at the sin. So it was one movie that triggered off such a volatile situation in his personal and spiritual life. …May Allah Ta’ala save all.
4.) Make the effort of reading 2 Rakaats of Salaatut Taubah and Salaatul Haajah every day, with sincere Dua thereafter that Allah Ta’ala forgive and change your feelings and protect you from the mischief of nafs and shaytaan.
5.) Keep reading :
يَا حَيُّ يَا قَيُّوْمُ لَا اِلٰهَ اِلَّا اَنْتَ سُبْحَانَكَ اِنِّىْ كُنْتُ مِنَ الظَّالِمِيْنَ
"O All Living, Self-Subsistent, there is no deity worthy of being worshipped but Thee, You are above all deficiencies and weaknesses. I am indeed of the wrongdoers"
6.) Continue meditating over the punishment that was meted out to the people of Lut (Alaihis Salaam) and the Shar`i Punishments for the person engaging in the act; together with the fact that indulgence in the sin draws the curses of Allah Ta’ala and Rasulullah (Sallallaahu ‘alaihi wasallam) - and a person under such a curse is deprived altogether of the Mercy of Allah Ta’ala. (May Allah Ta’ala protect us.)
7.) Try and give Sadaqah (charity) in some form, on a daily basis, with the intention that Allah Ta’ala grant complete change in your feelings and protect you.
8.) If Zam Zam is available, drink it with the intention of cure from your evil, base desires – for Zam Zam is a cure for whatever is intended, when drinking it.
9.) Lower your gaze when it comes to such young boys / handsome men, where you fear there will be some kind of attraction. Do not be alone with anyone.
10.) Keep yourself occupied. Even when retiring to bed, try to listen to some Zikr or Naath Shareef until you fall off to sleep.
11.) Try and sleep in a state of Wudhu , read the Masnoon Duas and Ayatul Kursi (Surah 2 : Verse 225).
12.) These are actually the whisperings, encouragement and deception of shaytaan and nafs. Both are trying to deceive and convince you that this is your nature, so that shaytaan can ruin your worldly life and your Hereafter, and the nafs can get some temporary gratification, not considering consequences – i.e. its own humiliation and disgrace. With effort and striving, you will, Insha-Allah, overcome both of them.
13.) At least you feel remorse over your weakness. Consider the effort you are now making to address your weakness and to come out of the sin, as a sign that Allah Ta’ala is with you and He will support and assist you in your efforts to give it up.
14.) Fantasizing about men (or women) is Haraam. I generally give a standard prescription to those who write about having the weakness. It is titled, Giving up Haraam Fantasizing, and will be found on the website http://yunuspatel.co.za. Alhamdulillah, many have found this beneficial in giving up the sin. You too should make the effort to follow the advice given.
15.) May Allah Ta’ala grant complete cure from this sickness, protect from any Haraam indulgence and purify the heart of such evil feelings.
Was-Salaamu alaykum wa-Rahmatullahi wa-Barakaatuhu
Yunus Patel (Maulana)